Oh, Kimber

Kimber, let's talk. I know I don't know you, but things that aren't my business never really stopped me before. I'll admit, I've never been in your shoes. My husband, the head basketball coach at Ole Miss, has never been arrested for slapping and shouting racial slurs at a Cinncinnati cab driver. (Charges dropped, defamation of character suit in process.) I really hate it that this has apparently affected your love live. But, did you really want me, a snarky girl in Kentucky, to know this?

Kimber, honey, when you filed your little lawsuit against the cabdriver alleging that he's ruined your, um, sex life, the whole country found out about it. You look so cute and classy in your little picture. Did you think about the consequences?

Food for thought: Times are tough. Until just a few weeks ago, gas has been expensive. I'll bet this cab driver has not been making the kind of money that will pay for your a) therapy or b) divorce settlement. I can picture it. You'll show up in your darling Lily ensemble (I know you will. You're an Ole Miss girl now. You must be precious.) That judge will not have sympathy.

Second thought--I picked this up on KSR, no social plagiarism--road trips in the SEC will be hell for you now. The blogosphere is teeming with this story. You should read the headlines! I'm too much of a lady to quote them; but, Kimber, they are not pretty. And that Andy, he looks like he'd be a blusher.

Here's what I'd do. Drop the lawsuit. Vengeance will not be your's. And for the love of whatever you call holy, do not go to Mississippi State!

(Writer's note: for some reason, I cannot post a link. Go to Deadspin and enter the keyword Kimber Kennedy. Prepare to laugh and laugh!)