In the SEC, the Coach and His Wife are celebrities. Their home is always profiled in the Design section of the local paper. Their clothing choices are discussed by the local news. They provide so much fodder for gossip -- my great-uncle, who was living in Lexington in the Fifties, swears that the Rupp-Bryant Cadillac/Gold Watch story was known all over town to be true at the time, and I won't even address all those tacky Rick-at-4th-Street-Live! sightings that are whispered all over town. It's like each SEC state has their own little Brangelina, and we're almost as excited to run into Mr. and Mrs. Coach as we would be to see the real Brangelina.
With this kind of celebrity attached to the coaching staff, it's no wonder that we can't stop laughing at the Kennedys' plight. Even if they shut down our offense this week, Accused Bigot Andy and No Nookie Kimber are funny, for no other reason than that they confirm every John Grisham stereotype of sleazy, incompetant Mississippi jurisprudence. Plus, I never tire of the saying that our friends over at KSR coined: "You know what else isn't easy? Andy Kennedy's wife."
My beau recently brought home his copy of the Tennessee Bar Journal, with an equally giggle-inducing story about our favorite orange-tinted coach. It seems that Bruce Pearl's ex-wife, Kim Shrigley, recently opened up a Knoxville beauty salon, aptly named Alimony, which offers a 15% discount to all clients who receive alimony payments. No word on their self-tanner treatments, or whether clients who look like Erin Andrews are charged double.
Click here to watch a video about Ms. Shrigley's awesome new business.
You know what will be sad? Mrs. Gottfried will have to consign all those elephant smocked outfits. They were precious.
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