Familiarity Breeds Contempt: Jenks

I live approximately three miles from the newly revamped and reportedly very luxurious Papa Johns Cardinal Stadium. If someone had told my ten-year-old self this fact, tears might have ensued. I'm not one of those people H mentioned who cheers for Louisville when they aren't playing Kentucky. It's not about the players really. I have enough perspective to realize that every student-athlete can't play for my team. If Bilau Powell, Victor Anderson, Jerry Smith, or Peyton Siva put on a blue uniform, I'd cheer my heart out for them. The reason I don't cheer for Louisville is the fans.

I also know Louisville fans are no different from any other fanbase. And speaking of fanbases, we have our share of obnoxious ones, I'll go ahead and say it now. I saw the tailgater telling Tennessee fans we were better...at football. Please. It's all proximity. The reason I don't hate Oregon State fans is I don't know any. The reason I can't stand Louisville fans is that they're all around me.

Having said that, I'll go ahead and list my four types of Louisville fans:

1) All my friends. 95% of the fanbase who are nice, normal people. We can have perfectly civil discussions, even about our rivalry, and not even be heated. They can tell me how great the Orange Bowl year was in the entirety of Louisville athletics, and I'll agree. Done.

2) The traitor crowd. Their argument, "How can you cheer against your hometown," usually followed by "You didn't even go to UK." I won't bother with counter-arguments here. You are all smart people. I guess when at least 60% of the city doesn't cheer for the city's school, it wears on a person.

By the way, these are the same people who would like to secede and form a city-state. All I can say is, I'll keep my Keeneland Race Course, and you can have your Portland Neighborhood. Think about it.

3) Jersey Shore: I swear there were times yesterday I thought I was in Newark. Maybe? I've never actually been to Newark. Example: A motorized margarita cart passed by. (Cute idea, slightly skanky. ) The margarita purveyor was wearing a pink shirt with a cardinal bird--cut out. Jeans. Thigh-high hooker boots. At a football game. Now what do you think Lee Todd would say about that?

4) Vittles and meth. I'm so tired of this business. I know we all indulge in stereotypes. In fact, I'm doing it right now. All I ask is that we keep it to the internet and call-in shows. As we walked in yesterday, the C-A-T-S cheer erupted. Some jerk looked right at me and said, "C-A-Y-U-T-S." Dude, wait 'til I sober up, bring your JCC degree over here, and we'll debate. If Card fans want to make fun of us, there's plenty of material. We have two whole years of Billy Gillispie. For realz. The way I say Cats, or more embarrassingly, ice, is irrelevant.